Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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