farters have to be the big spoon...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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