put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
