i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
