You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
