She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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