Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
