Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
