Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
