Dual....:-)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
