I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dick very happy bro
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
