Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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