Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
