Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
