This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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