if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
