Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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