Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
