yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
