just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
