My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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