Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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