Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
