Small penises have feelings too.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
