i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
