I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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