just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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