He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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