cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
