awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize