yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He shit in the fireplace
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