You're my little dorito
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
