You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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