we have pet lesbian snakes
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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