i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize