u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize