Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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