for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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