Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
