Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I want a musical about memes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
