i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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