sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
