i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
