Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize