we're blogging at a bar
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
