The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
