i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Alive.
So much puke
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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