is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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