Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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