went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
