We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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