I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize