This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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