My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize