puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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