i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
