dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
