So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
