I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
