Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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