After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
