Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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