I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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